It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything–and even longer that I’ve written anything of substance on this blog.
Hello is anyone out there?
I am not sure if anyone reads this anymore. It was never my intention to stop writing. Things just got in the way. The plan was to study for the GRE, apply to grad school, save some money and then see which school I would get into. Well after Tanzania, my shoulder started to bother me. Who knew so much pain can come from a pinched nerve. Then in June I competed, which resulted in a 25 second loss–I damn near had my arm broken, she was so fast in her submission. Then in July, after Costa Rica (surprise weekend trip!), I started to have some abdominal pains. I got scheduled for an ultrasound. Two days before I was to fly off to Oahu for my cousin’s wedding, as I was half a block from my apartment coming home from training, a car struck me while I was in the crosswalk. Emergency room. Nothing major or severe… it seems. The next morning I get a call from the OB/GYN and hurray! guess who has an ovarian cyst about 8.9 cm that has be surgically removed? With that news in hand, I jetted off to Oahu.
For two day I slept and popped as many ibuprofen as my stomach could handle. Waikiki was awful; I hated it. My dive with my cousin and her husband had to be cancelled. I couldn’t go hiking. I couldn’t do a lot of the activities I wanted to do. The week went. I flew home. Two days after I was home, nausea and dizziness overcame me. My head started to pound. My vision became impaired. Turns out, I had a concussion. I went in for a CT Scan at one point, and apparently my body is riddled with cysts. There is one, 2cm, on the left frontal lobe of my brain. Lucky me! My PCP consulted a neurologist and assures me it’s nothing to worry about.
On the 28th of August, I went in for my surgery. It was a quick outpatient procedure and I was home the same day. My concussion seemed to have left me, and I was well on the road to recovery. Except I wasn’t mentally and emotionally okay. Physically I was getting better, but mentally and emotionally, I felt hollow.
For some time now, I had expressed a desire to go spend an extended period of time in Southeast Asia. It’s a deeply, deeply personal journey–one I am unsure I am ready to take. But this much I know: I have to go and I have to go alone. So I went looking at tickets, choosing between Kuala Lumpur and Singapore as origin points. Then I found a one way flight to Singapore for under $500. A couple of hours of debating later, I found that I had booked the flight. January 20, 2014.
I am not sure what I expect to find. I know what I long to experience. Blue nights, humid sticky air heavy with spices, piercing colors, loneliness, being lost and subsequently found again.
I also started to look up where I was born. My mother told me I was born in a refugee camp. So that’s where I will start–at the place I was born. Then I don’t know what I will do. Go where ever the wind takes me.
From now until then I hope to finally put all my photos from Tanzania, Costa Rica, and Oahu. Then after I hope some of you will still be around to help ease my loneliness as I try to navigate my way through a land full of history that should be as familiar to me as the air I breathe.